Lars Pind

Those, roughly, were the words spoken on national TV last week by Thomas Blachmann, or so I read in the paper. The program is like American Idol, and there was a group where Thomas apparently couldn’t smell their commitment, their passion. And as a listener, you sense that, and then you can’t lose yourself in the music.

It’s the same when you start a business. You have to show commitment. And you show that through investment. In design, packaging, copy, the way your office looks, and the way you dress. All the things around your product.

When people buy a product, they look for whether the store and the packaging look like the producer is in the game to stay. You know when you go into that restaurant that feels a bit too much like you went to someone’s house, in the bad way. Or the shop that hasn’t replaced that broken window for 2 months now. Or where everything is a mess, because they couldn’t be bothered to clean things up. Or a web product where the marketing site is lacking that thing that makes it really pop.

It’s all tell-tale signs that the owners haven’t committed to the business, and it’s a turn-off for most people. You want to buy from someone who’s in it for the long haul. Partly because it’s good to know they’ll be around for support and updates. But also because if they don’t signal that they mean it, you end up feeling cheated a little bit. Either it’s because they’re so good, they don’t need to make something of themselves. But more likely, it’s because there’s something fishy. The actual product and value proposition may still be a steal, but the feeling you’re left with is off.

I’m learning this the hard way these days. I have a couple of interesting products in the pipeline, but none of them are going to generate any cash in the near term, and I need to make some cash in the near term. So I’m talking to a lot of people and generating some leads on coaching and software projects. But none of the 6 or so proposals I have out seem to want to close. Not that any of them have been turned down, they just won’t close.

I know some of them are just bureaucracies in large organizations moving painfully slowly, and there could be a million other reasons why, but I can’t help but suspect that some of them are because of the absence of that fragrant smell of commitment.

I’m working on a little something that I can’t tell you much about right now, but there’s a good chance you’ll find exciting and extremely useful.

To help me find that out, if you have a small business, if you’re a freelancer, or if you have a side-business, please please please take this survey, and I will be forever grateful.

Start the survey here!

Thank you very much.

I have several friends I have referred to coaches, but who haven’t done anything about it.

These are people who are suffering from serious stress, or have issues with their boss, or other problems, which haven’t shown any signs of improving for a while, and which they care deeply about.

Yet they haven’t taken any action. Why is that?

It took me quite a while to get started talking to a coach myself, so I may have a clue.

First, finding a coach seemed overwhelming. You want to make sure it’s a good one, and not just some schmuck! But these people have a personal recommendation from me, so that shouldn’t be the problem.

Second, there was the fear that explaining everything going on in my life would take forever. So the first 5 sessions would just be about explaining everything. The reality is that it takes at most half an hour to explain enough. Usually 5-10 minutes is enough. The details can come later, and mostly aren’t as relevant as you think they are.

Third, there was the fear that it was going to be painful. Realizing less pretty things about yourself is painful, and you kinda know in advance that you’re not going in there to be sweet-talked. You go for the substance. So it’s going to hurt a little bit. What we don’t realize is that it’s going to hurt for maybe 5 minutes today, versus the 10 minutes of suffering every day caused by leaving this problem unresolved for the next 4 months. Which would you rather?

Fourth, the fear that I was fundamentally broken in some way. This is a secret fear that almost all of us have, because the way we have been raised have taught us to believe this. That’s why I was afraid that if my coach kept poking, maybe he would reveal something that proved that I was not okay. The truth, of course, is that it’s hogwash. We are okay. There’s nothing frightening there.

Fifth, there’s the belief that you only need a coach if there’s something wrong with you. This too, of course, is rubbish. We have simply never learned how to live life effectively. We’ve learned by assimilation of our parents, and if we’re lucky, they knew. Most didn’t. We were consistently brought up to believe things that are neither true nor helpful. And our schools don’t help, either. So how are we supposed to know, exactly?

What else prevents people from using coaching?

If you’re not using a coach, what’s holding you back?

If you are, what prevented you from starting sooner?

Tony Robbins is impressive in so many ways. He’s tall and full of energy. One thing that everyone who attended his seminars consistently tell me is how impressed they are that he just keeps going from early morning till midnight 2-3 days in a row, almost without breaks. Wow, an amazing display of energy.

He also does tons of good for tons of people, I’m sure. I was through some of his books and tapes on my path, and they definitely got me started down a path that was good for me.

The problem is that he keeps you in a state of being wrong or not quite good enough, and needing to be fixed. Conveniently, he has the cure.

You see, most, if not all of us, are raised to believe that there’s something wrong with us, raised to hate certain parts of ourselves. This is because parents typically scold their kids when they misbehave (message: you’re not okay, not worth loving, when you do this), or they use fear (dad will get really angry if you do this again) or guilt (mommy will be sad if you do this). So we learn that part of us is bad, and when that part is in control, we’re not okay, not worth loving.

Tony hatches on to that belief and promises the fix. Want to lose weight? Tony has the cure. Want to be stronger? Tony has the recipe. Want to be more successful, have more money? Tony can help.

So you need to buy the next tape, the next book, the next seminar. And of course most of his products ends with getting you to connected with everything you hate about yourself before he starts the infomercial to get you to buy the next product.

One several of the tapes he says “I don’t want to be anybody’s guru. I don’t want to create a dependency.” Those exact words.

But trust me, he does. And his CPA does, too.

He wants you to stay in the mindset that there’s something wrong with you, and only if you live up to the standards that your ego has settled on for you, will you ever obtain freedom and happiness. But have you noticed that happiness is always just around the corner? It’s never here, now, is it? When you try to obtain freedom and happiness through external means such as your body or your bank account, you will never succeed. All you will succeed in is the transfer of large sums of money from your bank account to Tony’s as you buy product after product in futile attempts to get there.

The truth is that happiness and peace and freedom is yours. Now. It’s always there, it’s just that your mind is so busy telling you you need to do this and get that and there’s all these reasons you’re not quite there yet.

Ignore those voices. They’re lying.

Most people will start with the product and the price.

Try this instead: First sell the need. Then sell yourself. Then sell the product. Only then mention the price.

Back when I was smoking, I was often afraid I would never be able to quit. I was afraid I was going to wind up some 40-something, still smoking. I spent quite some energy being afraid of never being able to quite

If I had know back then that quitting smoking would be so natural and effortless, that when I was ready for it mentally, I would simply stop, from one day to the next, and never look back, no suffering, I would have been free of the fear. I would have appreciated it for what it was, a temporary, self-destructive pastime, and just enjoyed the enjoyable parts of it feeling cool.

Then at least I would’ve gotten the most out of it while it lasted.

The money will come from wherever it is today.

This is from Deepak Chopra’s Creating Affluence, an otherwise frustratingly annoying display of his command of the English alphabet. But I really liked this passage, where he quotes some old story.

Adyashanti: “What Zen practice really did for me was provide the avenue through which I eventually failed. it was my avenue for failure.”

It seems like we all need to fail before we wake up and realize that our thoughts and possessions and all the things we take for granted are just illusions. That we are not our thoughts or possessions or body or other things, we are life, we are awareness, we are consciousness. Only failure can take us there, because as long as we experience success we don’t look outside of that.

I’d heard of the one-minute manager.

But not about the 59-second employee.

(another hat tip to daddy)

Ice hotels are hotels built anew from ice and snow each year.

Here’s one in Sweden, and another one in Finland.

Check out photos on Flickr

(Hat tip to Daddy)

My dad just told me this story about a company that he consulted for. The meeting room had a punch clock, where each employee would punch in when the meeting started. The punch clock was somehow connected with a database of salaries and a clock on the wall, which showed the amount of money spent so far in combined salary to the people in the room. Interesting idea.

Does anyone have a reference for this, or other examples of something similar?

According to the story, the clock was pulled after just a few weeks because it was too stressful.

Friends. I’m at a turning point, and I need your help.

I could go on programming for a living forever, but I really don’t want to. I can do more by working with people.

But I need your help to find new customers for this new type of work.

The ultimate prize is to teach business leaders about coaching, so they can embody that way of thinking in the whole company.

Failing that, I’m pretty good at coaching teams and individuals, figuring out how to use the internet in your business, and running web software projects.

Please connect me with companies that need me across the globe, and I will be forever grateful. Really. These kind of life changes aren’t easily forgotten.

Contact me at lars@pinds.com or +45 27 28 47 07.

Thanks for taking the time to consider.

Here’s how it is.

We all have thoughts, feelings, a body, a personality, an ego. But underneath it all, we are pure awareness. I am. I am the one who notices my thoughts, my body, my personality, my ego.

The truth is that you are that awareness, and no matter what happens on the outside, that’s who you are.

So let go of fear. It’s all an illusion anyway.

You, that is, awareness, is inseparable from life itself, that is to say, all awareness in the universe is one. There’s one life, and you are it, we’re all it.

Turns out, awareness has a plan for you. Life wants to use you.

Your purpose in life is to find out what Life wants to use you for, and to allow that to happen. And to do that, all you need to do is let go of control, let go of the illusion of control, and allow Life do move you to do what Life wants you to do. That sense of being moved to do is called intuition.

Let go of the illusion of control and let Life move you around. Surrender to Life.

A lot of people will be moved to start some form of business, because a business is a great way to exchange favors, exchange energy, if you will.

An enlightened business is a business that’s based in Life, inspired by intuition.

So let go of fear and go start an enlightened business.

When you’re trying to decide ahead of time whether an activity would be enjoyable for you, make sure you ignore any fears and insecurities that may creep in.

You are not your insecurities, they are just old habits that keep you away from being who you truly are.

So safely ignore them. Picture yourself when you’re at your best. And see if the thought of the activity then fills you with joy or boredom.

Beliefs. We all have them. Essentially everything we say is a belief.

The trouble with beliefs is that, well, we tend to believe them.

And they tend to contradict each other, and cause us to go around in endless loops, wasting endless amonts of time and energy.

• You should work hard.
• People should be loyal.
• You should be lazy.
• Only people in their 20s can start really great companies.

The thing is, most beliefs are not true. They’re something you heard someone say at some point – your parents, your friends, your teachers, a book you read, a talk you attended – and now they’re a voice in your head. A thought, really.

But just because you think it doesn’t make it true.

There’s an endless supply of beliefs, most of which are bullshit, and some of which are contextually true.

You can boil most of the beliefs that are globally true, that is, their truth does not depend on the context, down to just two handfuls. Beliefs like:

• It is what it is.
• All you can do is your best, the rest is not up to you.
• You don’t have to do or create anything to be okay.
• Everyone is always doing their best, given their resources.

These are beliefs that help you let go of resistance and the illusion of control, and instead accept reality, including yourself and everyone else.

The realization that beliefs are far from always true, that you can decide for yourself whether you think they are, holds enormous potential for freedom.

Letting go of all the false and conflicting beliefs frees up mental energy and running around in loops, and lets you focus on the things that work and move you forward.

That is one of the great virtues of coaching.

To book a talk, workshop, or team coaching session for your company, get in touch at lars@pinds.com or by phone at +45 27 28 47 07.

Obama is ahead 934 to 892 over Hillary, and the writing staff is back at work at The Daily Show. What could be better than that?

In the first weekend of January I went to a silent retreat and meditation course.

The silent part meant that from around 9 pm on Friday night until around 3 pm Sunday, there was no talking, no reading, no music, video, audio, no telephone, no nothing. Just silence. That was really cool. I found the thought of it a bit frightening ahead of time, but once there, I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

The meditation course part of it … not so much. It involved sitting in the diamond pose for 45 minutes at a stretch without moving, while the teachers would talk us trough moving our attention around our bodies very slowly, starting at the top of the head, all the way through all limbs, and back to the top. Quiet your mind. Ignore the pain in your legs, after 30 minutes, it will subside. 15 minutes break, then back and sit for another 45. Boy, was that stressful. I wanted to scream “shut up, I’m trying to meditate here”. It was so far from what I understand meditation to be.

Meditation shouldn’t be a struggle. It should be effortless. Meditation is your natural state when you pay attention to your direct sensations.

I meditate 2-3 times every day. I just lie down on the floor, feel my entire body from the inside, pay attention to my breath, and it’s a wonderful feeling. What’s better than that? I used to get bored if I was waiting somewhere without anything to read. Now I just feel my body from the inside, and I’m plenty entertained. Reading something would be an annoying distraction. Meditating quiets my mind, so I can sense my intuition.

If meditation for you is a technique, something you’re trying to master and get better at, try letting go of all that and just be. It’s not a contest, there’s no end goal. It just is, and you can be that right now.

To say that something “sucked donkey balls” was an expression that was used a lot at ArsDigita when something was, shall we say, sub-par. Predominantly used in the Munich office, as I recall it.

Last night we had part of my Icelandic family for dinner, and they revealed that in Iceland they eat pickled ram’s balls. A traditional Icelandic food called Hrutspungar.

Close enough.

I don’t like programming. I really don’t.

I like the outcome. I love creating something out of nothing. I love creating something beautiful. I love clicking on links and interacting with stuff I’ve created. I love seeing people use my creation. I love getting praise and recognition for it.

But I don’t enjoy the activity. If I were to never program another line of code in my life, I’m not sure I’d miss it. Maybe I would. But I can’t see that right now.

How long this has been the case I don’t know. Maybe forever, though I seem to recall enjoying the tinkering as a kid. It was safe. Other kids were scary. It was a form of lone play, like a jigsaw puzzle, only more advanced, challenging and useful. And it got me praise.

It’s always been the case that programming has been a source of external rewards for me. My parents would praise me for the programs I wrote. Other people saw how talented I was. I even started making money from programming when I was only 13. The external reward structure has been so deeply infused in me, that it seems to have taken me 20 years to realize that I don’t enjoy the activity.

External rewards can never do the trick.

You must enjoy the activity.

You must.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of building a product because you’re absolutely convinced the world must love it. How couldn’t it?

You think your idea is great. It fits with the latest web trends. It’s like Facebook meets Basecamp meets Gmail. If only everyone would use it, it would be such a great product.

Or you see that so many people need your product. You may be right, but if they don’t realize it, you can’t sell them.

In short, it’s easy to focus too much on you and what you want to sell and not enough on what your customers want to buy.

It’s trite, it’s obvious, yet we all do it; big companies and tiny companies alike.

So talk to them. Strike up conversations. Ask lots questions.

What are your biggest dreams and aspirations? What are your biggest problems? Who else shares these problems? What would you really wish were different? What blogs or sites or magazines do you read? What related products do you buy? How much would you pay for this?

It’s tempting to use yourself as a sample customer, but you have a natural bias towards your own product and the way of thinking that created it. You can use yourself for insights, but you need to verify them with the market.

There’s a really good chance that you have something unique and valuable to offer the world, but there’s an equally good chance that it’s not what you thought it was, or at least not presented the way that you were going to.

Before you build your product, ask lots of questions.

If you want to sell your product to business, especially mid-sized or large companies, and you want to close the sale this century, make sure that the problem your product is solving is:

• Recognized as a problem
• Something they already have attempted to solve somehow
• Something they already have an approved budget to solve

Sure, you can hope that you can convince them they have a problem they’re just not realizing, you can try to convince them it’s urgent enough that they need to do something, and sure, you can hope that they’ll find the money for it somewhere (take it from profits? or from some other bucket?).

But if you can hit a need that fits the three points above, your life will be so much easier, profitable, and fun.

Good luck.